Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
