Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
