You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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