You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
being pregnant is like rehab
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
