I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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