i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
