You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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