So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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