You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
