All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
