apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
