Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My feet surprised me
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
