I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
