I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
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Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
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I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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