Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
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