I'm lost and stupid without you.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
