They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
