I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
