did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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