Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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