Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
