i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
