Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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