Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
