My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
