So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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