I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
