Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
