My first STD was from a foam party
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize