the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
