Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
