Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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