You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize