I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
