you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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