I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize