I love black thongs
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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