i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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