Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I party with great urgency now.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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