i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
