So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
