Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
