you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
