these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
