It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
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How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
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He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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