You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
