I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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