thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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