After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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