Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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