My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
