We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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