Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
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then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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