I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
