There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
