I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
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I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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