dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just jacked off to nostalgia.