Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.