Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail