yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
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you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
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Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...