dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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