Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
