your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
